The moments grow fewer. Every day, I'm a little older. And in the midst of time's elapsing, I find myself hoping to live for that one great purpose that defines the rest.
Rob Bell said it best in the Nooma video "Shells": "We must examine the rhythms of our life if we're ever going to will the one thing." I stumble on that because I feel preoccupied with finding the one thing that rises and drives beyond every other cause. I struggle because I can't stand living another moment that flows like water down the drain.
Thoreau said in one of his most memorable quotes that, "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." His reflections came in solitude in nature: mine arise from silence and lack of activity. I never realized how much I have been driven by movement; always going, leaving, and searching. Now the Lord whispers repeatedley in my ear that I should stay and, with all that I am, I find it to be that hardest promise to rest in.
Bursting to attain a purpose, I lie idly on the shelf of formation. His hands work out the kinks, and I squirm with the discomfort. Strivings cease so that I might become....all that He desires. One would think that normalcy would be such a comfort, but it is such a foreign entity to me. Shake me and rock the boat, but don't drop be in the suburbs of everyday living. Oh, how much I have to learn in these cleansing waters!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Beware: Kaj Munk Quote
"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope, and love"?
That sounds beautiful. But I would say--courage.
No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness.
For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature....
we lack a holy rage--
the recklessness which comes form the knowledge of God and humanity.
The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world.
To rage against the ravaging of God's earth , and the destruction of God's world.
To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries.
To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace.
To rage against complacency.
To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.
And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish...
but never the chameleon."
That sounds beautiful. But I would say--courage.
No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness.
For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature....
we lack a holy rage--
the recklessness which comes form the knowledge of God and humanity.
The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth...a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world.
To rage against the ravaging of God's earth , and the destruction of God's world.
To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries.
To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace.
To rage against complacency.
To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.
And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish...
but never the chameleon."
Monday, March 16, 2009
Rain and Veneer
It's raining outside as it always does in the Pacific Northwest. Jose Gonzalez is singing soothingly, and I could almost melt in this moment. However, there is a very shaking uncertainty to this moment as I contemplate my next steps.
My next steps, always shrouded in unknown, seem to always be pushing me forward to some great purpose that I yearn to discover before it discovers me. Its like this ache that presses into every moment and all that I do. I desperately want to know what I'm here for...what specific purpose that I am fighting for.
I'm ready to shake this land, as Catpower says. I ready to stand for something more. What is it that God would ask of me. I'm after that purpose, but always wondering where its leading. "Maybe now, I'll look with my mind."
My next steps, always shrouded in unknown, seem to always be pushing me forward to some great purpose that I yearn to discover before it discovers me. Its like this ache that presses into every moment and all that I do. I desperately want to know what I'm here for...what specific purpose that I am fighting for.
I'm ready to shake this land, as Catpower says. I ready to stand for something more. What is it that God would ask of me. I'm after that purpose, but always wondering where its leading. "Maybe now, I'll look with my mind."
Friday, March 6, 2009
Poem
Scribbles of words melt into thoughts, flowing into moments.
My mind races with the beat of a tribal drum.
I pause for meaning and can find no words.
I contemplate the vastness concealed within my numbered days
too few to count on. I look on to tantamount reasons.
I pause just to breathe, then push forth my thoughts
to grasp a cliff-hanger's dream.
From summit to peak, I'm bursting forth with each step onward.
My heart beats in tune to words infused
Gripping me with a desperation to scratch out a path in pen
Forward, I'm bound to make it far above the abyss below.
The darkness concealed, awashed in the break of day.
Birthed in wonder, the ways emerge.
It's clear that this climb propels me forward to the peak of origin's tune.
Revelations above alight far beyond an eagle's landing.
And upon this ladder, I rise.
Rhythms of meaning beating in words,
I reach to ascend the rock above.
With a warriors cry, I lift my hands to sky.
To see each word, each thought encompassed in glory.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs9z05rf5X0&eurl=http://video.aol.com/video-detail/rob-bell-everything-is-spiritual/4089755287&feature=player_embedded
I was reflecting over this past week and thinking about the outward brokenness I saw in the DR. I stumbled upon this video which speaks of that brokenness in the world being but a mere reflection of my own inward, fractured self.
But that is the power of the Gospel in me. That is the plan of redemption of God; He took our brokenness upon Himself in the form of a cross and made way for healing and restoration. I am broken, but in Christ, I am being redeemed day by day by day.
Watch this video. Maybe it will speak to you as much as it did to me.
I was reflecting over this past week and thinking about the outward brokenness I saw in the DR. I stumbled upon this video which speaks of that brokenness in the world being but a mere reflection of my own inward, fractured self.
But that is the power of the Gospel in me. That is the plan of redemption of God; He took our brokenness upon Himself in the form of a cross and made way for healing and restoration. I am broken, but in Christ, I am being redeemed day by day by day.
Watch this video. Maybe it will speak to you as much as it did to me.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Coming Home
It seems that the oppurtunity in the DR is coming to an end....I am coming home.
I received a phone call on Saturday night from my leaders and mentors who expressed concern stemming from a phone call from my family. In truth, there were elements of my stay in the DR that I wasn't prepared for. I didn't know a lot about the conditions before coming, and my family was more concerned than I ever realized. When Global was contacted with these concerns, it was decided that, for my safety, I should come home.
In a way, I felt as though I had somehow missed the plan of God. Or maybe, I was missing Him in this whole situation. But, someone once shared with me that if you are seeking the will of God fervently, you don't have to worry about missing it. Proverbs 3:5-6 came back to me, and I know that I am acknowledging Him throughout this situation. I know without a doubt that He knows best. If my leaders believe that this is best, than I can trust that God is controlling this situation.
That still didn't spare me from the heartache of leaving. I looked in the faces of the women that I had come to love so much, and telling them that I was leaving nearly broke my heart. The director and him wife were so precious to me throughout my stay. It was confusing to them that I was leaving so soon. But I know that with God, there are no burned bridges.
And the faces of the women...I'll never forget their faces. Saying good-bye for what will be the last time is always such a wonder to me. Somehow, you always carry a piece of them around with you within a shared experience. You'll never forget though they live thousands of miles away and though you never see their face again. Such heat-wrenching finality for this side of life.
But I know that even stumbled steps move stones. I know that God has a reason behind the road that He walks with me on. So I trust Him and lean on Him for stength. The way will be made clear with an INCREDIBLE blessing in store for the Dominican Republic. Lord, its all in your hands now! Lead on!
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap,but by the seeds you plant." ~Robert Louis Stevenson
I received a phone call on Saturday night from my leaders and mentors who expressed concern stemming from a phone call from my family. In truth, there were elements of my stay in the DR that I wasn't prepared for. I didn't know a lot about the conditions before coming, and my family was more concerned than I ever realized. When Global was contacted with these concerns, it was decided that, for my safety, I should come home.
In a way, I felt as though I had somehow missed the plan of God. Or maybe, I was missing Him in this whole situation. But, someone once shared with me that if you are seeking the will of God fervently, you don't have to worry about missing it. Proverbs 3:5-6 came back to me, and I know that I am acknowledging Him throughout this situation. I know without a doubt that He knows best. If my leaders believe that this is best, than I can trust that God is controlling this situation.
That still didn't spare me from the heartache of leaving. I looked in the faces of the women that I had come to love so much, and telling them that I was leaving nearly broke my heart. The director and him wife were so precious to me throughout my stay. It was confusing to them that I was leaving so soon. But I know that with God, there are no burned bridges.
And the faces of the women...I'll never forget their faces. Saying good-bye for what will be the last time is always such a wonder to me. Somehow, you always carry a piece of them around with you within a shared experience. You'll never forget though they live thousands of miles away and though you never see their face again. Such heat-wrenching finality for this side of life.
But I know that even stumbled steps move stones. I know that God has a reason behind the road that He walks with me on. So I trust Him and lean on Him for stength. The way will be made clear with an INCREDIBLE blessing in store for the Dominican Republic. Lord, its all in your hands now! Lead on!
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap,but by the seeds you plant." ~Robert Louis Stevenson
Friday, February 20, 2009
No Corruption too Big
I see so much corruption. People here aren’t blind to it either; they are just used to it.
The police adorn nearly every corner with M16’s or shotguns. Some of them are young men who lean on their guns with a look of boredom smeared on their face.
Children dig through the trash for food. They beg on corners. They traffic drugs. They are sold into sexual slavery. This breaks my heart more than anything else. I feel God putting in my heart to do something!
The other night, someone was shot and killed a few houses away from me. A girl, having witnessed the murder, ran screaming down the street. She fainted in the house across the street from where I am staying.
The hospitals are overrun with filth, blood, and people that won’t receive medical attention because they have no money. Drug addicts are shot and killed by police after repeated offenses or beaten to death by neighbors. This is an acceptable practice for handling drug addictions.
A 19 year old prostitute, when offered a way out, said she preferred the streets. Another begged for a change of life after having been stabbed repeatedly. But, she panicked when she realized that it would take her away form all she knew. She left our care that night. God be with her, wherever she might be.
But, of course, there is always the other hand. God is doing awesome things in the midst of all of this corruption. Nothing is too big for God and no one is too desperate. No matter where I go, it seems that I am always running into a fellow soldier of the cross. Missionaries from around the world are here, working to shine the light. Teen Challenge is touching lives, and I know that God has given them a great vision to continue the work that has only just begun.
God, expand your ministry! Continue the work that you have only just begun. Touch lives with the power of Your Gospel! Oh, God, redeem the days! Anythings is possible with you if we would only just believe!
Phillipians 1:9-11
Friday, February 13, 2009
Pressing on
Okay, so the rough patches come. They hit hard or they sneak up on you. Or, like the weather here, they come like a torrential downpour. BUT...we press onward because we have a hope that will hold steadfast and sure. In the end, I will look back and see the hand of God in the midst of all this. So, I press on.
I started language school this week. It is three hours a day for four days a week....and its all in Spanish. The teacher doesn't speak English, and I don't speak Spanish. BUT somehow it works. I learn more and more everyday, and I can't WAIT till the day that I can freely converse.
I met a little girl today and began to play with her in the Teen Challenge salon. I pointed to her shoes on the floor and said "Mio zapatos." She shook her head and said, "MIO!" Back and forth we went with our baby Spanish. I felt so blessed to communicate!
Driving down the street of the city, I see so much heartache. There and children begging and shining shoes. Beggars and people with physical ailments sit on the curb with their hands extended. The other day, a lady walked up to me in the car and exposed her upper right thigh. The flesh looked like it had been scrapped off. I later saw her in the rain, sitting on the dirty pavement crying out to the people passing by. I later found out that she had aids and but refused to come and allow Teen Challenge to help her.
Pray for those like this young women who are in desperate need of help but refuse it unless its on their own turns. Pray that the Gospel will penetrate the stony exteriors and hopelessness.
I started language school this week. It is three hours a day for four days a week....and its all in Spanish. The teacher doesn't speak English, and I don't speak Spanish. BUT somehow it works. I learn more and more everyday, and I can't WAIT till the day that I can freely converse.
I met a little girl today and began to play with her in the Teen Challenge salon. I pointed to her shoes on the floor and said "Mio zapatos." She shook her head and said, "MIO!" Back and forth we went with our baby Spanish. I felt so blessed to communicate!
Driving down the street of the city, I see so much heartache. There and children begging and shining shoes. Beggars and people with physical ailments sit on the curb with their hands extended. The other day, a lady walked up to me in the car and exposed her upper right thigh. The flesh looked like it had been scrapped off. I later saw her in the rain, sitting on the dirty pavement crying out to the people passing by. I later found out that she had aids and but refused to come and allow Teen Challenge to help her.
Pray for those like this young women who are in desperate need of help but refuse it unless its on their own turns. Pray that the Gospel will penetrate the stony exteriors and hopelessness.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Season of Faith
In a scarce four days, I will have been in the Dominican Republic for a month. I can hardly believe how the time has flown! I have experienced so much in such a short time, but one thing I can say: I am in the center of the will of God. The moment I stepped off the plane and stumbled through security, I felt as though I had come home.
The man who checked my passport scrutinized it closely and with a grin he said, "Isaac Newton." God has such a sense of humor! I have eaten more yucca and plantains then I ever though possible. I have had my legs covered in mosquito bites (I'm told that they love my gringo flesh! Crema de leche!). Everywhere I go, I am as tall as if not taller then others. All of this adds such flavor to my time here!
On more of a serious note, I see the hand of God moving in such a miraculous way. Church services here are on fire as God moves freely to touch the life of every Dominican and Haitian! There is no limits to what God can do! And though I have been witness to things I never thought possible like children begging for food outside of restaurants and cripples people hobbling down the streets, I know that a might God is present here. My eyes have been open in such an incredible way to the compassion that God has for the lost and needy. There is so much to tell, and I will do my best to paint the picture with words. What I can say for this moment, this day, is that I am ready. Whatever God has in store for me, I am ready. Whatever he has planned for Teen Challenge, I am ready. Whatever He wants to do to impact the Dominican Republic, I am ready! Pray for His continued work in the life of lost in the Dominican Republic. Pray with the faith and know that He can move mountains!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Extraordinary things from ordinary people...
"It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes."
Oswald Chambers
"Strength is for service, not status."
Romans 15:1-2
The realization of what I am undertaking has not hit yet, but I don't worry. I have the God of the Universe on my side; why should I fret. I'm not amazing or extraordinary in what I am doing...I am just following His lead. He always makes a way in the unknown. He always takes ordinary people and does amazing things. I am so excited about seeing Him move, touch lives, and forever change the course of one person's destiny. My only prayer is that, somehow, He will use me. If I am willing, I know He can. And I am willing. God, this journey lies in Your wonderful hands. Together, here goes!
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