Time elapses...

The moments grow fewer. Every day, I'm a little older. And in the midst of time's elapsing, I find myself hoping to live for that one great purpose that defines the rest.

Rob Bell said it best in the Nooma video "Shells": "We must examine the rhythms of our life if we're ever going to will the one thing." I stumble on that because I feel preoccupied with finding the one thing that rises and drives beyond every other cause. I struggle because I can't stand living another moment that flows like water down the drain.

Thoreau said in one of his most memorable quotes that, "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." His reflections came in solitude in nature: mine arise from silence and lack of activity. I never realized how much I have been driven by movement; always going, leaving, and searching. Now the Lord whispers repeatedley in my ear that I should stay and, with all that I am, I find it to be that hardest promise to rest in.

Bursting to attain a purpose, I lie idly on the shelf of formation. His hands work out the kinks, and I squirm with the discomfort. Strivings cease so that I might become....all that He desires. One would think that normalcy would be such a comfort, but it is such a foreign entity to me. Shake me and rock the boat, but don't drop be in the suburbs of everyday living. Oh, how much I have to learn in these cleansing waters!